What is something I cannot stand? How can I show my inner struggles through art? What do I depend on? Do I like this dependency? What other aspects come with waiting? How does anxiety take part in this? What do I do to stop the anxiety from going out of control? How can I change this? What makes me overcome my dependency? |
In the past year I have realized many things about myself; one of them being how dependent I am on people and the endless amount of time I will wait for them. It has always been a problem I’ve noticed, but never did anything about until recently. My sustained investigation is about the process in which I changed from being that dependent person to just being here for myself. I experienced these changes while making my art, making it easier for me to find ideas to portray what was going on and really be in the moment. Questions I asked myself were: When are you going to stop putting in more than you receive?, Why are you still putting up with this?, Why can’t you just focus on the people that show they appreciate you back? These questions really helped me get into depth on my theme and make the viewer feel my pain and confusion. I experimented a lot with color to express all the emotions coursing through my mind. I wanted to show the chaos of what my mind felt like. My self portraits, symbolic forms, and anxiety tics helped me take the art to a deeper, more meaningful level that covered multiple mental territories.
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